Why People Tell You “No”

Last week I asked someone at the store where the batteries were located. He smiled and said, “I don’t work here but I think they are in aisle 3.” Have you ever asked the wrong person for what you want? Probably.

The #1 reason that people tell you “No” is that you are asking for something that is inappropriate or something they can’t give you.

People worry about the wrong things when negotiating and asking for what they want. This discovery was one of the biggest surprises I had when doing research for my new book,  Ask Outrageously!

Last month’s article discussed how to handle being told “No.” Even more beneficial is knowing why people deny your requests.

According to the responses of almost 1,200 professionals in a wide variety of fields, the top 3 reasons people think they are told “No” are:

  1.   The other person lacks the information needed.

  2. The timing is wrong.

  3. The person I’m asking doesn’t want to spend the money.

Wrong. None of these are the top reasons they are rejected.

The top three reasons respondents say they deny requests or say “No” are when the other person:

  1. Is asking for something inappropriate.

  2. Is someone I don’t like, respect or trust.

  3. Can’t respond intelligently to questions about the request.

To improve your chances of getting a “Yes” when you ask:

  • Do the research to determine if the person you are asking can actually grant your request.

  • Know and respect the other person’s preferred means of communication – text, phone call, email or in person.

  • Build trust with others by not gossiping, being on time for meetings and appointments, and using good manners.

  • Be crystal clear about your desired outcomes when making a request. Know what a win is for you.

By the way, I asked outrageously this month for your support of the book launch of Ask Outrageously! and so many of you said “Yes!” Because of you, the book made it to the #1 spot the Amazon Hot New Releases chart! THANK YOU! Please enjoy these photos from the book launch that we coordinated with my friend Dianna Booher whose book, Communicate Like a Leader, launched on the same day.

Journey On and Ask Outrageously!

About Linda: A recognized authority on negotiations, workplace issues and strategic communication, Linda Swindling, JD, CSP is an author, media expert, a “recovering” employment attorney, and a professional speaker. Contact us to book Linda to speak at your event.