Do people trust you? It depends. How honest are you?
When I practiced law my advice to clients was, “Tell me the truth. No matter how bad the facts are, there is a strategy.”
Most clients were honest and forthcoming. A few had selective memories. After one client was sworn in as a witness at trial, he suddenly remembered facts very differently from the sworn testimony he gave in his deposition. Ouch! Judges are not happy campers when they think someone is providing false testimony. Trust me here.
Whether testifying in court or promising to do a project at work, your word is your bond. People gauge your trustworthiness by your honesty and willingness to tell the truth even when the message is unpleasant.
In the research for my new book, Ask Outrageously!, we found that one of the top reasons people say “no” to the requests of others is when they “don’t like, trust, or respect the person asking.”
Another significant finding in the Ask Outrageously Study was two-thirds of people reported they are more comfortable asking on behalf of someone else – such as a client, a cause, a child, or a person in their care – than asking for themselves. This is no surprise. It is easier to summon the courage and risk embarrassment when you request for those who rely on you.
Asking for your interests doesn’t mean you are selfish or trying to cheat others. You are simply attempting to achieve the best result possible.
Here’s a work around. Consider who else can benefit. Before you ask for yourself, identify ways others can “win” or benefit by your request.
In my new book, I discuss the concept of “Wintegrity™” as:
- Acting in an ethical manner in an attempt to promote the best outcomes for all involved including one’s self-interests.
- Making the best “right” decisions to build trust and respect with the expectation that winning outcomes will result.
Instead of seeking a win-win outcome, you expand your focus to intentionally include others’ interests. The objective is to produce a win-win-win result created with ethical practices.
“Have courage, feel the fear and ask anyway,” as I’m quoted as saying in this recent Inc. magazine article.
People want to be a part of something bigger. They want to feel good about their efforts and positively impact the world. If all parties involved can “win” and do it with high standards and integrity, you have “Wintegrity.” Perhaps Hewlett-Packard Enterprises Employee Value Statement says it best: Together, we win the right way.
When people help create or build a solution they believe is “right” with people they trust, it is far more likely to be a solution that lasts and offers a bigger reach. In fact, I believe so strongly in the concept that I upgraded and rebranded my trust programs to Wintegrity™.
If you want to win big, you have to ask big AND be trusted. Ask Outrageously with Wintegrity and watch the results!
Journey On and Ask Outrageously!
About Linda: A recognized authority on negotiations, workplace issues and strategic communication, Linda Swindling, JD, CSP is an author, media expert, a “recovering” employment attorney, and a professional speaker. Contact us to book Linda to speak at your event.